Friday, April 13, 2012

America's Hunger Games

"The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it."
George Carlin

I watch the presidential election every four years.  I no longer vote or participate in electoral politics.  I also threw my high school civics textbook into the fireplace a long time ago.  So, you may ask, why do you watch the presidential elections?  Well, because it is the most illustrious spectacle on earth.  I liken it to my favorite childhood pastime:  professional wrestling.  I grew up on wrestling during the late 80s and early 90s.  Huge arenas, ridiculous pageantry, exaggerated storylines and last but not least, the proverbial smack-down.  I have to say my favorite combatant in this year’s primary race was Rick Santorum.  I was actually saddened to see him drop out of the race.  Not because I like where he stood on the issues (he is a fascist just like everyone else in the race) but because he was the King Kong Bundy of electoral politics.  He was, as they say in the wrestling business, a heel.  The establishment republicans where terrified of him, liberals despised him as much as a diesel truck rally on earth day.  When I watched wrestling as a kid I always rooted for heels over any babyface (a wrestling word for good guy, and I know it’s pathetic I know all these wrestling terms).  You could just picture him entering the ring to the sound of boos.  His hyperbole was exquisite enough to be used in the horribly produced vignettes before wrestling matches.  He even had a scowl like a bad guy wrestler.  Aside from his wrestling attributes his disconnect with reality was just as enjoyable.  His campaign platform included a ban on pornography.  Sadly enough this is probably the only way you could cause an uprising in this country.  I could see it now, “the great penthouse purge of 2013” or the “Wi-Fi rebellion”.  Well, I prayed hard that he would stay in the race, I even wanted to get bumper stickers and yard signs for the guy, my family wanted to take me to a neurologist.  I think I also hoped he would be dumb and unpopular enough to maybe have the American people question democracy.  Unfortunately, in this year’s battle royal poor Rick got thrown over the ropes and out of the ring.  So this leaves us with Mitt Romney and Barack Obama, who are jobbers (a wrestling word for a sub-par wrestler) at best.  What kind of moves does Mitt have?  Well, elastic rhetoric, a smarmy personality, a penchant for animal cruelty.  Boring!  How about Obama?  Let’s see, empty platitudes, broken promises, a thirst for blood masked by benevolent sounding double-speak.  Yawn!  I also can’t forget to mention there is no real difference in their platforms, so no real issues will ever be discussed.  Well, that is enough wrestling talk, since the primaries are practically over.  Also wrestlers volunteer their bodies to entertain people, that is hardly comparable to the imperial presidency.  The imperial President can imprison people indefinitely, assassinate American citizens and attack countries at the drop of a hat.  That is not exactly what Hulk Hogan or Macho Man did for a living.  So, now we get down to the nitty-gritty, are two Pepsi-Coke candidates are preparing for battle (gotta love democracy!).  When the contest gets down to two people the game gets a little more serious.  Since both candidates are going to execute the powers of the imperial presidency or increase them, you might as well just enjoy the show.  The victor will be named the next dictator-in-chief.  Fairly soon we will witness the 57th annual American Hunger Games.  Let the games begin!  Get ready for another presidential election where Americans shovel their hopes, dreams and problems onto one person and expect him/her to deliver on a bunch of empty promises.  I will watch on T.V. as countless Americans trudge into the voting booths and complete their civic ritual.  On a side note I will be enjoying my day, instead of standing on line at some crummy school.  Many people say to me if you don’t vote than you can’t complain.  I don’t have the heart to tell them that their vote is meaningless and the political process is a sham.  It’s like if a kid in a wheelchair tells you he wants to be a professional baseball player, who the hell am I to crush his dreams, no matter how improbable they are.  Amazingly though these elections never fail to soothe the masses.  In the movie The Hunger Games their land is called panem.  That is in reference to the term from the Roman Empire:  panem et circenses (bread and circuses)This term is a metaphor for superficially appeasing the masses through diversion or distraction.  That is exactly what these elections do to most Americans.  You know the clich├ęs:  I have a voice, it’s my civic duty, and every vote counts…… they go on and on.  Yes, we have democracy but the president also has dictatorial powers.  The harsh reality is those powers have not weakened no matter who is elected, they have just gotten stronger.  You can just look at what Obama has done under his tenure: He started a war illegally in Libya, assassinated a 17 year old American citizen, signed the National Defense Authorization Act into law, which repeals not only the 5th amendment but the Magna Carta!  These are just Obama’s greatest hits and the presidents before him have committed just as many crimes against liberty.  Take away Americans’ right to a trial, no problem.  Take away Americans’ right to vote, they will spill out into the streets.  With all that said, I am still going to the circus when it comes to town, even though the circus is going to be more boring than usual this year.  I guess some circuses have better clowns than other circuses do.  I wanted the clowns that juggle knives and do back-flips not the two clowns this year, they just make balloon animals.  So sit back get your popcorn ready and try to enjoy the greatest show on earth!  America’s hunger games, the 57th edition!                    

P.S.: I know Ron Paul is still in primary race, much to my enjoyment by the way, but I still think he is too good of a man to be mentioned in the same breath as these sociopaths.  :)        

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